Ivanhoe today.

Tomorrow will be the first official day of track and my last season in a Lynbrook uniform. Not that I don’t want it to come, but since after today almost all of the posts on here will be about running or have some running in them, I’m going to write about my other love in life; my girl.

What can I say about her?

It has been 5 amazing months and one wonderful day and I still get the same butterflies in my stomach that I got 5 months and 1 day ago. Every time she looks at me with those gorgeous eyes, kisses me with her soft lips, or whispers her sweet words into my ears, I fall in love with her all over again. In a sense we’ve gotten past the newness of the relationship by having gotten past our differences and knowing what to do and what not to do around each other; but at the same time all the magic is still there. Every day I spend with her is amazing as the first and the last, every kiss is as heartfelt as the one she mustered the courage to give me, and every time she says those three words I know for a fact that she means them.

Yesterday at her birthday party, as she walked across the room with a huge beautiful smile on her face, talking to all her best friends, it put an even bigger smile on my face, knowing that she was happy and that I in some way was able to make her wear that beautiful smile. I figured it all out the other day, I’m no longer scared to cease living for myself, now I just don’t want to stop living with her. Every day with her is truly wonderful, regardless of if I spend every minute of it with her or not a single second, I still wake up and fall asleep with her on my mind and in my heart.

Amazingly, it’s been 5 months and 1 day and I still couldn’t tell someone why I love her. But then again, maybe that just shows that I truly do. I don’t love her for something that she does, I love her for who she is. I love her for being the dork that goes to Petco with me, that makes Viveks at the Apple Store, that talks about refrigerators at best buy, that draws things on my phone for me, that plays Pokemon with me on her computer and thinks of dirty nicknames for all the Pokemon she catches.

Her Tia Linda said that Alanna is “never full of herself”, and that is the truly amazing thing about her, I mean how many girls are there as beautiful as her, that get into the best schools, that are good at sports, that have her smile, that are as polite and mature as her, and most of all as loving as her? She has every reason in the world to be full of herself and yet she isn’t. She still asks me “really?” every time I tell her she’s beautiful, and every time she asks me, I respond with the same three letter word and mean it with everything I have.

The songs we sing together, the laughs we share, and the places we go, we don’t do it because we’re lovers; we do it because she’s my lover and best friend at the same time. It’s the best feeling the world having the girl that kisses you throughout the day, texts you “good morning” and wishes you goodnight everyday to also be the girl you can joke around with and be yourself. That’s truly the reason why we’re meant to be, we just understand each other. We’re both dorks, and we’re both losers, but ever since August 30th, I’ve been the biggest winner in the world, and she’s my 1st place medal.

Usually after writing so much about running or anything else, I’m straining to find more words that flow well together, but with her it just comes so natural. I’ve only known her closely for 6 months really and yet I feel like I’ve known her a lifetime. We often wonder what would’ve happened if we had found each other earlier, and I’m sure it would have been just amazing as it is now, but the most amazing things is that I know whatever happens in the future, she’ll always have my heart in her hands and I never want it back.

There millions of words in the world, and yet even those three wonderful words still don’t do justice to how I feel. This isn’t love; it’s so much more. It’s something wonderful and natural, and it’s perfect. I’m not perfect, no one is, but together, we are perfect.

I love you Alanna. Thank you for an amazing five months and one day, I can’t wait until tomorrow because it’ll be another amazing day with you.

I’ll never be able to tell you just how much I love you because there aren’t any words strong enough for it.

Ivanhoe <3

I’ll be concise.

I don’t know exactly what made me think about this. This isn’t a realization because I’ve known this since day one, but this is the first time I’ve put it down in words.

Life is amazing. It truly is. Not just now. Not just yesterday. Not maybe tomorrow. It is always amazing. Even when you feel like you don’t want the sun to come up in the morning, it finds a way to make you crave that next sunrise. There isn’t just one thing about it that makes it amazing, everything about it is amazing. Sure there are somethings that we say we could do without, but without the bad to compare to the good, would it be good at all? I’m young, I’ve only had the pleasure of living for 17 years, and though we sometimes want to be older, and we sometimes want to stay young, we always want to be alive.

Being alive though, what does it mean? Most of the time we are alive, but every once in a while, when everything just clicks, we feel alive. I’ve felt alive many times before, but never like this. This is new. It’s a combination of all the things that make me feel alive. Today was it. I held her. I smiled with her. I kissed her. I drove. I ran. I drove some more. I drove faster. And harder. I held her closer. I felt her close to me. I kissed her with everything I have.

I have it all. But all I really need is her.

Life is short. Maybe our greatest gift is also our damnation. We all pay a price to live. Knowledge. We know that someday this will all come to an eternal end. But a man’s life isn’t measured by how much money he makes, how many cars he has, or how many people work for him; a man’s life is measure by the amount of times he feels alive during it.

It’ll come to end for me someday, it’s inevitable. Some things are ephemeral; some day I’ll be so old and weak that I can no longer lace up my running shoes, but until that day comes I will spend my time here on earth exploring it the way nature intended me to, with my two feet.

My body will give out eventually. My mind will give out eventually. But as long as I have her, my heart will never give out.

We only get one shot at life. One shot at happiness. One shot at true love.

I’m going to make it count.

It’s been a while. I don’t have anything to write just yet, but tomorrow I’m going on my first 10 miler of the season, and trust me, I’ll be back.

How do I know I’ll be back? Well I was supposed to ref a game tomorrow at 3:45, but when deciding on whether I’d rather run or ref…well here’s the email I sent to the ref coordiantor.

“Hey —–,

I’m sorry to inform that I caught the flu after yesterday’s game and I doubt I’ll be able to ref tomorrow. I wanted to wait until tonight to see if I felt better but I don’t want to get the kids sick. Could you please remove me from game 103.

Thank you and sorry for the short notice,

Luca Signore“

I’ll be back tomorrow after I get over “being sick” for ten miles.

Anticipation

They have gone by so quickly, the seasons that felt so long in the beginning always ended just a bit too early. They say too much of anything is a bad thing, but there is something I just can’t get enough of; LHS XC.

You have been my family for four wonderful years, all the races, the pasta feeds, the fun runs, they all took place with a special group of people that I am so happy to call my family. On my lowest of days you have brought me back to my feet and led me to conquer many hills. And on my highest of days, LHS XC only made them higher. Today was the real last day that I’ll physically be with the LHS XC team, in the future we’ll come back for reunions, we’ll hang out, some of us might even end up at the same college, but we’ll never get to meet out by that shed again, call together the stretching circle, and set out to make love with our legs. Every single step will be remembered, ever smile, every joke. I owe it all to some amazing coaches and an amazing family; my team.

What Hank and Jake have done is not only create a strong team, but an even stronger family. They have brought us together under the same sport, they have made us better runners. But the greatest thing that they have done for us is that they have made us better people. I know that someday I’ll look back on my life and I’ll know that all the good decisions I’ve made are because of these two men that have helped me become a man over these four years. They have made me a better runner today, a better husband and father tomorrow, and throughout my life a better person. The “lava lamp lessons” that Hank gave us have taught me more about life than any assignment or test ever will. The long talks I’ve had with Jake on our various trips have made me realize many things about life and have helped me look into the future calmly, rather than fretfully about the possible failure. You win some, you lose some; life isn’t about staying up, it’s about getting up  when you’re down.

I felt bad for not having written since CCS and not reflecting about not making states with the team, but there really isn’t much to write about it. If I were to write that I am disappointed in my team I would be lying because I am so proud of the other 6 guys that shared the field of battle with me last Saturday. We ran our hardest, we gave it our all, we all believed in it, and at the end of the day Palo Alto was just faster; it doesn’t mean they’re better runners or better people, they were just faster that day. We may not have accomplished our goal of making states, but what we did accomplish is something much more important; we were able to come together as one, one team, one family, united in pursuing one dream. We put in the hard work over the summer, we always ran our hardest at the meets, and above all we always enjoyed what we were doing. It was never an “We have to” thing, it was always “We get to”; We get to run up the steepest hills, in the fiercest storms, and through the darkest nights.

“Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.”

Henry David Thoreau

Today after the party my dad saw me sadly flipping through my senior book and he asked me “What will you miss the most?” There are many things I’ll miss; the surf n’ turfs, the rallye runs, the hash runs, the races, meeting out by the shed, having somewhere to go after school where I am accepted, the races, the runs in the hills. But those are all on the surface, what I’ll really miss is something will never be recreated, no matter what. What I’ll miss is my LHS XC family.

I do not know the future holds in store for me, I do not know where I’ll be ten years from now, I do not know what I’ll be doing, but I’ll know who I am thanks to LHS XC. Thanks to those amazing coaches and my amazing family I now know exactly who I am…

I am a runner an LHS XC runner.

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake”

Henry David Thoreau

I want to live in my dream tomorrow.

I don’t know how to describe it. I’m torn between being nervous and being sad.

This might be it, in two ways. This might be the last race I have with the LHS XC team, the team that has been my family for four years. This might be the last time I get to huddle up before the race and yell “Woh Bundy”. But maybe this might be it in a different sense, this might be the race where we all come together and leave it all out on the trail. This might be the race where we capture our dream, this might be our race.

It seems like just yesterday I was running that first Cupertino Long Loop, like just yesterday I went to Hawaii and fell in love for the first time, like just yesterday I had to drop out of DALs, like just yesterday I drove down to Fresno missing 6 people, like just yesterday I was in camp dreaming about this race, like just yesterday I was in Hawaii feeling the pain of losing, like just yesterday I was atop Hunter’s in a storm yelling at the top of my lungs. After Saturday it might feel like just yesterday I was with my LHS XC family, or I might have everything I’ve ever wanted.

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true”

The price: pain. The dream: States.

One race. Let’s put our hearts into every step until we cross the

one last time.

 

Signify the end of our last fun run, they signal the end of this season, and they mark the end of four years of LHS XC. But they don’t mark the end of the love I’ve found here at Lynbrook as a Cross Country Boy.

These past four years have been truly amazing, every single one of them. It has been an honor to share the field of battle with so many other runners throughout the years and this Saturday might be the last time I can put my hands in with 6 other guys and yell “Woh Bundy” at the top of my lungs.  Whether it’s the last or second to last is up to us. If we want it, truly want it, we have to work hard this week and then we have to all have the race of our lives on Saturday. This is our opportunity, it’s our chance to show what we’re made of, this is our dream.

Vince Lombardi once said; “The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his field of endeavor”

Cross Country is our field of endeavor and whether we run like men or we run like boys on Saturday is up to us. All I have to say to you guys is leave it all out there, for one race, push your body to its limits and when it seems like it’s about to give in, let your heart take over. Remember the feeling of losing Hawaii by one point, remember the disappointment, remember the pain; and if we can channel that into one race where everything clicks, then someday we’ll remember the glory.

This is our calling, our fate is in our legs and our dream is in sight.

Let’s do it for ourselves, let’s do it for Hank and Jake, but most of all let’s do it because we love it.

It hit me today.

This is it.

Today was my last Surf N’ Turf as a part of the LHS XC team, this whole season has been a string of lasts but I’ve been trying to not think about that much. Today while on Prospect, running the red light on Blaney, it all came crashing down. Four years have flown by as quickly as they came and now I’ll only be reliving Cross Country through memories of shared laughs, long runs, and visions of those perfect fall days where a run can cure everything. These four years have been truly amazing, every single one of them. They had their highs and their lows, but that’s life, we all fall down and it’s the ones that are able to get back up that stay up.

Who knows where I’ll be at this time next year, all I know is that wherever I am, I’ll be there because of Lynbrook Cross Country; the life lessons I’ve learned, the races I’ve ran, and the people I’ve met, these are the things that have made me who I am today. Answering the Senior Questionnaire is by far the hardest thing I’ve had to do; I mean how am I supposed to answer “How have I changed Lynbrook?”, I haven’t changed Lynbrook, it’s still the same, there are plenty of smart kids that only care about grades, and there is a fair share of kids that don’t care about grades at all. But those kids have nothing to do with me, I didn’t come to Lynbrook to change it; I came to Lynbrook to change myself. Thanks to Hank, Jake, and all the other amazing coaches that I have had the honor to call my coach during my four years at Lynbrook have led to me being the person I am today. They haven’t only made me a better runner, they have made me a better person.

It’s Jake’s advice on life and love that give me some reassurance the future will be a fraction as good as right now is, it’s his stories that give me laughs for today, and hope for tomorrow.

It’s Hank’s life lessons that tell me how I should act today and tomorrow, it’s his lava lamp that has shone me the way to happiness, it’s his words that ring through my ears as I push up the hardest hills.

Lynbrook Cross Country has completely changed my life and made me the person I want to be.

As morbid as it may sound; what Jake told me on the way back from Mt.Sac this weekend may be one of the soundest pieces of advice that I have ever received, and it wasn’t even intended to be advice. Jake told me that when he passes on he doesn’t care what is done to his body, “Where do you want your ashes spread?” “In the trash can” he replies with a grin. At first I pondered why he wouldn’t care about his body after death, but then it became apparent to me; that’s what it is after death. Your life has passed on and wherever your soul is; it definitely has left your body. Our mind, body, and soul are all things that we posses for a lifetime and it’s our job to keep them as sound as possible. Lynbrook Cross Country has done that for me. It has strengthened my mind by teaching me to never give up, no matter how challenging the endeavor, how steep the hill; there is always a peak, and when you reach it everything will be worth the pain. It has strengthened my body in obvious manners, but it’s the hard work that Hank and Jake have always preached that keeps it growing. And finally it has changed my soul as I no longer look for a place to fit in, I am who I am. I have found a family that will last me a lifetime and a love that will carry me through the toughest of days.

“The greatest thing in life is not in never having fallen, but in rising up again.”

I have fallen many times but thanks to LHS XC, I’ve always had a reason to get up and conquer the hill, no matter how steep it may be.

“It’s nice to be great, but it’s far greater to be nice.”

In two weeks we’ll know if we have what it takes to be great, but even if we don’t come out on top; we’ll be able to go home knowing that we are great people thanks to Hank, Jake, and all the amazing people that have had the pleasure of going through LHS XC.

Our last ‘Woh Bundy’ is approaching us, let’s make it the loudest one ever.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

This is for my LHS XC Boys.

This is our season, this is our opportunity. This is our chance to show the world we belong at the top. This is our chance to show everyone what Lynbrook XC has done for us. It’s our time to show Hank and Jake and that their hard work has results. But most of all – this is our chance to show to ourselves that we deserve it.

This may seem small and insignificant now; just a race, just another two weeks of training, just a delay. But one day, when we look back on that race, it’ll either be the race that could’ve been, or the race.

2.95 miles of pain, why would we put ourselves through that? Why would we purposely sign up to feel pain for 16 minutes? Something keeps us coming back, and that something is love. It’s love for the run; for the lows, and the highs. For the guts, and the glory. It’s love that allows us to endure the pain.

Let’s get going you guys.

was amazing.

But it didn’t start out that way. From the moment I set off from Lynbrook, I felt average. Nothing was clicking and I just felt like I just needed to get the run over with. At first my shoes were too tight, then they were too loose, then I had too many things on my mind. The whole way to the top of Hunter’s I was wishing I was somewhere else, but as soon as I finished my sprint to the top, things started to change. After taking a breath at the top and re-tying my shoes for one final time, I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. When I opened them I saw everything in a new perspective.

I turned around and faced the rest of the park, I noticed all the trails that wind majestically. I noticed all the peaks that seem so daunting when I’m looking up at them, I noticed all the places I’ve found love in before. I came to realize what I love so much about where I live right now, it makes me want to stay here forever. These hills, this sky, and this town, I love everything about it. It has made me who I am today, the parks that I grew up with, the hills I’ve fallen in love with, and all the little reminders in between that make this town what it is.

Lum couldn’t have said it better; “nothing gold is forever”, well this is Gold right now. Everything is shiny and beautiful, and I know this isn’t fool’s good. This is the real deal, everything around me is real, not gold plated. Golden to the heart. Eventually I’ll have to leave this place behind, but I know that I’ll find my way back here, too many amazing things have taken place in the place I call home, and no matter where I’ll be living next year, home will always be in Saratoga.

Cross Country is slowly winding down and just as much as I don’t want each day to end because it means the end is a day nearer, I can’t wait for the next one to come because I know that every single day holds something amazing and beautiful. I’m going to miss it all; meeting out by the shed, working hard on our hard days, going easy on our easy days, doing strides, and every single little joke in between the runs.

Life is short, but that makes it beautiful. You have a choice to how you decorate your life; if you only do things that make others happy, not the things that make you truly happy, your life will just be coated with gold, but pure rust underneath. But if you take it day by day, and spend every single day doing the things you love and with the people you truly love, your life will be just like 24 carat gold; beautiful and authentic.

This is my last season, my last season being able to suit up with six other LHS XC boys. Our season might end November 14th. But if we all pull together for one race, if we all just give it our all and leave nothing out there, then maybe, just maybe, our season will end November 29th.

Woh Bundy.